A look at shame

I've been noticing the importance of shame in my work of late, both from a clinical and personal perspective. Essentially, shame is a defense against overexposure. We consciously or, more likely, unconsciously cover up parts we are not quite ready to share.

In therapy, the healing process starts by creating a warm, understanding, accepting place to simply explore the edges. It is tricky work. There is often intense resistance. There are aspects of ourselves hiding behind the walls of shame. Surprizingly, they can be expansive, intriguing, soulful, young, adventurous, important.

When I see my own shame, I see its purpose. I've got rough parts that aren't quite integrated. I'm not even sure how to allow them. But that is the juice of it. That is my work. If I don't start to open the gates, refine the understanding of my underlying processes, I get blindsided. I am too narrow visioned. My unintegrated parts pop up and cause havoc.

Shame is a complex topic. It is neither good or bad. It is an adaptive feature of our psyche. It has a role... I want to honor it, learn from it. I'd love to hear any thoughts, experiences you have to share.

There is an interesting Ted talk by Brené Brown you might want to check out if you are interested in this topic: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html